Video Games: Chances Are I've (Virtually) Killed You.

          "BOOM! HEADSHOT!" The immortal words of FPS Doug exemplify my adolescents...and beyond. Why did I play video games? Some people were blessed with photographic memories, the dedication to run more than 5 miles without getting bored, or the ability to eat vast amounts of ice cream without getting brain freeze. Not me, I was blessed with impeccable eye-hand coordination, so I figured I might as well use it. I was "pwning" in video games long before First Person Shooters were mainstream (so hipster-esque) or even  invented. Back in the day, I was able to beat Super Mario Brothers in under 10 minutes, finish Contra without using the Konami Code (Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A Select Start...just in case you forgot), thoroughly embarrassed the the older kids in the nickel arcade at Street Fighter II and was a force to be reckoned with in Golden Eye.

(Pictured: Duel wielded nostalgia perforating pixelated Russians)

          Despite my grandiose and storied resume of video game accomplishments, I didn't realize my potential until I played a little game called Halo: Combat Evolved. The very first time I played this resplendent game was over a year after it's release. Needless to say there was a steep learning curve. At first I was being slaughtered by my friends. "This aggression will not stand, man." 

          At this point in my life, I didn't own an XBOX and I wasn't about to take a shellacking and injure my gamer's pride. I eventually had a roommate that owned an XBOX, played Halo and introduced me to the original XBOX Live...XBConnect. This mind blowing connection to the gaming world opened my eyes, I saw the light, and it was awesome. I started off in the "n00b" games. But swiftly I climbed the ranks through "n00b" and "l33t" all the way to "godz". At this level, unless you were able to hit two body shots and a head shot with the pistol 90% of the time, you wouldn't enjoy it.

          While climbing the ranks to the "godz" only platform, I decided to change my name. Being the immature person I was (and still am) I changed my name to AIDS. The reason being? Whenever you died in Halo multiplayer, text would appear on your screen stating: "You have been killed by <name>." So every time I killed anyone, it would read to them that they were killed by AIDS. I found great humor in this. By the time Halo 2 came out, I'm pretty sure I (virtually) killed more people than the AIDS epidemic had killed in it's entirety.

Bullet Injected AIDS, That's How I Rolled.

          Soon, my friends no longer wanted to play Halo with me unless I was on their team. After awhile, it actually wasn't even that fun obliterating the people you know and love. Eventually new games were released that drew my attention elsewhere. I reached the highest ranks in Halo 2 and 3. I dabbled in other genres and series like Soul Caliber, God of War and Devil May Cry. However, I was never as good at anything as I was at Halo: CE. 

          I still play video games, but I don't have the time or the dedication I used to have when I was virtually injecting the video gaming world with AIDS. I'm currently trifling with Call of Duty: Black Ops. WHORRENDOUS (spelt incorrectly on purpose) campaign, but the multiplayer makes the game worth purchasing (on discount). In the end, I will always be a gamer. But never again will I be at the apex I was at when playing the original Halo.